Monday, November 16, 2009

You Never Know if You Don’t Ask!

So this morning as I dropped off our dry cleaning I “casually” mentioned that my husband thinks he’s missing some pants – in a kind of lets test the waters sorta way and see what they say because I didn’t have a ticket for them and couldn’t even remember when he mentioned it. So as I politely asked if they had some sort of lost and found system, her first question was “when do you think they went missing?” I told her I wasn't sure but maybe a month or so ago. She quickly checked her system and said do you think it could have been back in June? I was dumb founded and said, I don’t think so as that seems like a long time ago. Although I was unsure, she was happy to help and said, let me check in the back and sure enough she came back with not one but 4 pair of pants (one was even mine) and a ticket with our name on it. I couldn’t believe it and I think she was just as happy as I was to have helped me find our missing clothes!

So as I drove away, smiling from ear to ear and excited to call my hubby and tell him the great news, I thought to myself “how would I have ever known they had them if I didn’t stop to ask?” And why was I so hesitant to ask in the first place? Have I been burned too many times in the past by negative reactions for not having all the right receipts or information? Or is it sometimes just easier to go through life and not ask for help even in the simplest of forms?

Asking for help has never come easily for me as I used to be the one who had to prove my independence and had the “I can do it all attitude”, but I really thought I was working on it. I no longer turn down an offer from someone to bring me or family dinner when I’m sick or a friend who offers to watch my son while I get some work or errands done. But, what happened today reminded me that I’m okay with people offering to help me, but asking for it is a whole different situation.

To admit you might even need help or to ask when you are unsure is not always easy. However, is being willing to sacrifice your own self and stretching yourself thin (or $ when you think of me replacing 4 pairs of pants) in order to keep the peace really worth it? I think I’m more important than that and I’m going to continue on this journey of speaking up and asking for help more often than not – even when it feels uncomfortable. How about you, want to join me in asking for more help?

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